No One is Perfect
We’ve got bumps and wrinkles and sometimes bad breath. Some things make us feel too sensitive or opinionated. We encounter people who push our buttons and our reaction creates emotion out of nowhere.
We are human. Imperfections are part of the package of being human. Without the imperfections, we would all be impersonal robots. Who wants to live like that?
Do you remember a time when we were told to keep our flaws secret? The thinking was, if we keep our imperfections to ourselves, no one will know our flaws. The truth is, denying imperfections is fooling no one. Other people see most of our imperfect parts. So why are we trying to hide behind some false sense of perfectionism.
While it may be uncomfortable to peel back our layers of protection, what is revealed in the process is precious and valuable. It is valuable to us and it is valuable to those we care about. When we are not willing to be imperfect, we place a barrier between us and those we want to share life with.
Imperfection found in ourselves and in others becomes a source of hope when we accept our faults as evidence of our humanity. We are empathetic with those who are willing to “let us in” their lives in an authentic way.
Vulnerability is the Birthplace of Happiness
Many people feel shame when they think of their imperfections. This shame shows up in the way we separate ourselves from others with smart phones, drinking alcohol, shopping or playing video games. If these diversions keep us occupied, they seem to keep us from being vulnerable.
If we protect ourselves and are not vulnerable to others, we can’t get hurt. Right?
In an article with Psychology Today, Dr Greenberg, Ph.D. describes just how relationships make us happier. She also points out the bonus fact – they make us healthier too. Almost every escape mechanism mentioned above is bad for your long-term health. Being able to accept our imperfections and engage with others in a vulnerable way allows us to accept their imperfections. We both enjoy a happier and a longer life.
In her TED talk about vulnerability, Brene’ Brown talks about her studies in human connection. She tells us being vulnerable is uncertain and risky. She also tells us it transforms the way we live. Brown is quoted as saying, “Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.” She often mentions receiving with an open heart to enable us to give to others fully.
Believe it or not, the word flawsome is defined in the urban dictionary. Being willing to accept our mistakes and inherent flaws is a trend. Our flaws actually create a lot of our personality. When we pay attention, we see the largest companies trying to balance admitting their mistakes with bragging about their best traits. Trying to appear perfect is considered a fault by others. It look insincere – even dishonest.
Lady Gaga started a campaign back in 2012. She called it the “body revolution” and it happened after people were trying to shame her weight gain. She posted photos of herself in a bra and panties with no touchup. The people who were criticizing earlier were asked to post their own photos. Her willingness to be vulnerable made her even more popular than before.
Acceptance is perfection – if we want to live a life of happiness and deep, meaningful relationships. It leads to a healthy outlook and a healthy body. We sleep better. We have better concentration. We are able to relate to others and accept them as they really are, without judging or being intolerable.
We’ve all tried to be perfect and failed. It’s time for us to let go of the need for perfection and embrace our human flaws.
4 Key Truths About Imperfection
- Perfection is unattainable. (It may be based on someone else’s idea of perfect.)
- We are less lovable when we try to pretend we are perfect. (We look like a 5 year old in a fantasy world.)
- When we attempt to be perfect, it often leads to procrastination and even dread (It slows us down and makes us inefficient.)
- Imperfection is liberating. (It frees us from many burdens of our life and allows us to do more.)
“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.”
~ Salvador Dali ~